U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
