Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
