How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
