so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
