Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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