Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
