Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
