Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
