I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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