when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
