how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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