I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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