she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
