Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
