i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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