i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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