Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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