How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
