I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Success! We fucked roommates!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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