MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
