Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
