if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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