she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
