we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This is the high leading the old right now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
