His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
