there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
