Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
