i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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