wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
