Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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