One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
