I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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