took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
