I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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