Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i out mim tonsoeep
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