well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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