She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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