Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
