this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
