the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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