PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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