just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
