How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
