Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm too high and old for this...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
