Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you inspire me to be a worse person
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
