I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
