just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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