This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
