She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
