I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
