I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He kissed a someone with a penis
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
