She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
bring money and cleavage
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
