If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Are we still banned from the library?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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