I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I need moral support for this bender
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
