is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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