shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
