He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
