i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
